7 Unhealthy Behaviors That Can Ruin Your Relationship.
Since the beginning of time, relationships have been very essential to humanity. Most times, Christians solely focus on marriage and parenting relationship within the Bible.
However, there are several mentions of men and women who made a choice to be a source of knowledge, companionship, and support for each other. Whether you consider the friendships of David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Jesus and Peter.
It is easy to find the importance of those we permit into our lives in this capacity. However, in a society where face-to-face interaction is constantly dwindling and we have more virtual “friends” than ever, it’s even more important to consider how we can maintain healthy and honouring friendships.
There Are 7 unhealthy Tips That Ruin Friendships:
1. Friendships are the priority over all other relationships:
Although friends are important, they were never meant to be exclusive. Many times, friendships can become jealous if it seems the other is spending time with another person.
This can bring great discomfort and unhappiness. Moreover, friends should recognise the boundaries that must take place when marriage and children are involved.
Couples and parental duties should always be priorities. Where friendships overstep this, it can cause “Resentment” within the marriage relationship.
2. Friends can say whatever they want to each other:
Being a friend does not mean we have free reign to comment or criticise in every situation.
In Christian friendships, there can be a desire to focus on the “iron sharpens iron” verse.
In other words, we can assume it is always healthy to correct one another. However, it is important to speak with wisdom and ask the Lord for help on sharing on tougher issues.
Even the closest friendships can be destroyed from a harsh word or constant criticism. Friendships should be a source of inspiration, knowledge and encouragement.
3. Friends should have the same ideology and views:
We are in a world where social media has a great influence on people. This can be regularly seen in periods of political, racial, or social unrest within the country.
One friend will express their emotion and suddenly the other will recognise the vast difference of opinion. This can happen just as easily over issues like vaccination, sexuality, and religion.
Time and time again, friendships that seem secure will suddenly become destroyed over a miscommunication and difference of belief. Though some behaviors or beliefs may not allow a person to be your best friend, we cannot expect everyone to be a perfect one as we are.
4. Friends cannot say “NO” to one another:
In a relationship that doesn’t permit you to say “no” is one of control. Though this may sound harsh, it is impossible to always say yes. There will be times when the answer is simply “no”.
A perfect example of this is a friend who always needs to borrow money. Honestly, there may be many times you can give. We may find ourselves not wanting to disappoint or hear the backlash of saying “no.”
However, a good friend shouldn’t expect you to be the answer to every problem. Instead, they should understand that you have your unique responsibilities that also require your attention.
Saying “no” shouldn’t be a deal-breaker for a friendship.
5. Friends should always listen to each other’s advice:
There’s good advice, and Godly advice. When consulting a friend, we may not know exactly which we will get.
In an ideal world, our friends will always lead us towards the Lord. However, the reality is many offer advice that may end up being detrimental to our situation. Although their intentions may be great, their ideas may not work.
Our friendships should be safe enough to disagree without causing separation. Each should be able to listen to one another’s issue without assuming they have the only solution.
This ultimately creates an unhealthy environment for all involved.
6. You can only have one best friend:
Over the years, I have seen the benefits of having many friends. Although there may be seasons where people have a deep and intimate relationship with their friends.
Even more so, we should remain sensitive to who the Lord wants us to connect within a deeper way for a given season.
True friendships can have open arms to allowing others in because they aren’t threatened by the presence of another person. Though this does not entail we should share our most confident moments with everyone, we can seek the Lord for those we should add to our circle.
“Where there is no counsel, the people fall, But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)
7. True friendships should never change:
Unfortunately, even great friendships may come to an end. Geographical moves, changes in marriage or parental status, betrayal, and dishonesty, can all cause friendships to come to an end.
There may even be times when the Lord speaks for us to re-evaluate a relationship, they may be drawing us further away from him. Whatever the case may be, we should be open to the Lord shifting relationships and aware when separation may be needed.
Ultimately, whenever there is an element of control, friendships will fail. Whether it’s the expectation to be the most important person in a friend’s life or expecting them to take all your advice, it is important to always assess whether we are being the friend the Lord would desire us to be.
If we are intentional about our relationships and wise in our interactions, we can nurture lifelong friendships that bring joy and honour the Lord.