How to listen in Marriage
How do you build up listening and communication in marriage? Successful marriages are about healthy communication and listening to each other. It’s not uncommon for couples to experience periods where talking to each other could be of a great challenge and the power of listening could be absent which becomes a problem.
One of the important way to show love is to listen attentively to your spouse – the most important person in your life who Needs your full attention, your time and eye contact. A lot of husbands complain that “My wife says I don’t listen”. And wife’s also complain that “husband doesn’t listen to my feelings”.
In as much listening and communication in marriage is important, we still keep asking, How do we maintain this healthy communication through the power of listening? It’s easy to blame your spouse when there is a faulty communication, but, don’t forget its a two-way thing.
Communication is a vital key to maintaining a very strong and a thriving relationship. Trust also have to be built in terms of communication. So, while you’re having thoughts that you are a very good listener, just know that it’s something that involves great work and effort.
As a husband, you have to learn how to listen to your wife’s feelings, or listen to your spouse. It doesn’t have to be people in relationship that learn to adapt to the listening habit, but you also as an individual, it’s goes a long way, far than you can imagine.
Let’s discuss, what to do when your husband doesn’t listen to you? or how to get your husband to listen to your feelings…
1) Start with expressing your love towards your spouse first. Make him feel loved, it could be you drawing back memories, that’s you sparking and creating a very comfortable and willing environment.
2) Yes, approach matters together with the location. You can’t call him while he his trying to get work done at the office and expect him to be open for a discussion except probably its a quick one. You have to ask whether it is of a good time, if he says no, ask him when it will convenient for him, and respect his request. Also You creating a comfortable environment.
3) In as much you feel the connection with your spouse, also know that they are no MIND READERS. So, you have to be very clear with your problems and what you would expect from him. You might as well tell him that you just need him to listen, because you feel like pouring out your feelings and it is okay if he doesn’t have solution.
4) Mind your body language. Avoid making your spouse feel so intimidated. Remember, everyone has ego, so, try to make the chat little intimate, no full face to face, yes that can be highly intimidating, mind your body language and also your tone. In doing this also state how important and serious the issues is and make him know how it will affect the family if not fully addressed.
Now, let’s talk about tips on how to be an effective and good listener.
1) Have An Open Mind
Listen without making plan of jumping into conclusion or trying to play the judge. Try to rethink before you make a statement or say anything in response, especially, when it involves emotions.
2) Learn Not To Interrupt
Let your partner finish expressing their pains. If you are the type that interrupts a lot, try to find a way to remind yourself to keep quiet.
3) Make Listening Important
Try to listen without interruption or you planning on what to say in response. Here, you have to let go of your own personal thought, and try to make eye contact to show your partner that you are following attentively in what they are saying.
4) Non-Verbal Sign And Expression
Try to pay attention to every details, which include body language – crossing arms or legs, shrugging your shoulders, nodding, eye contact, looking away, facial expression (frown, tears, irritations, shock, etc.) and also mannerism. More than half of a person’s message can be delivered through non-verbal signs and expression.
5) Always Make Use Of Feedback
You could say something like, “I hear you when you say that…” then you can follow up by rephrasing what they actually said, and be open to the possibility that you didn’t clearly hear them, and you giving them space to state the obvious.
Let’s not forget also that Listening and communication in marriage builds respect between spouses. Poor listening habit or skills between couples or in a relationship can lead to breakdown or error in communication. Know fully well that being an active listener is one best gift you can give to your partner.