How do we master the act of forgiveness when we live in a world where people get on our toes and feel no remorse about it, close friends and acquaintances disappoint us in alarming ways and feel they own the right too, or strangers who can be ridiculously annoying. But, come to think of it, we at times think or feel we can easily pick a revenge scheme and lose nothing, right? Well, that’s wrong. Although, we are humans, and we are bound to get angry and offended towards things we hate. But not keeping it to the point where malice cooks in.
What is Forgiveness?
It is Willingly letting go Completely and Totally. [Really? Sounds easy… but not easy – I bet that’s someone’s thought]
I mean how can you forgive a rapist that brings you hurtful-memories? How can you forgive a friend who almost led you to your death, how would you forgive a person who enjoys seeing tears in your eyes? How can you forgive a punching husband? How can you let go of all these so easily? The truth about this is that it would be burdensome on you as a person, Yes, when you don’t let go of things.
You have to be willing to Mastering the act of forgiveness as it plays an important role towards happiness and towards the full quality of your life. By learning the art, you don’t just forgive the person who did something wrong but you also learn how to forgive yourself as a person. Yes, you forgive yourself. Forgiveness is for ourselves and it is what allows us to move forward and achieve not just happiness alone, but peace of mind.
We can’t also do that alone without the presence of the holy spirit in your life. Once you understand that our heavenly father forgives us for our sins, we should also reciprocate that same art. The book of Daniel 9:9 made us understand “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.”
Let’s talk about the process of mastering the act of forgiveness
1.) Recognising your bitterness
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
You have to take the step of willing recognising where it hurts. Recognise where the fellow has over gone his boundaries. In doing this, you are realising the bitterness, the anger and the resentment, and also you choosing to hang onto the anger instead of letting go. let’s not forget what the book of Micah 7:18 says, “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.” Our heavenly father never stays forever angry with us but delightfully show us his mercy.
2.) Expressing your Pain
You might not feel the need to do so, but once you share or express your pain, it becomes less burdensome for you and you feel like an heavy load has been lifted off you shoulders. You find inner peace in you. We serve a merciful God that even when we rebel against him, he still grant us his forgiveness. When you express your pain, it is you stating the fact that you are trying and willing to let go of the pains. A times, we need to talk about them. If we don’t, we start dwelling in sin (Malice). The bible says in book of (Isaiah 43:25-26) “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence.”
So, speak out, let’s argue the matter together like the bible said, express yourself, don’t let evil thoughts take away that from you. Be confident and with the help of the holy spirit, lay your claims.
3.) Showing Empathy
More like showing compassion. Yes, trust the act of showing compassion. Its serves as an aid for calming down anger and also fear. but then, you have to be understanding. You have to understand why some people do things that they aren’t suppose to do. You have to try and reason from their own point of view although not letting it contradict your own thinking. When you understand them from their own think, you find it easier to let go of the hurt. We are not created to hurt other people. Showing empathy doesn’t make you weak, it means you choose to be a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
How you are going to forgive, is all a process because forgiveness itself, is a process. Mastering the act of forgiveness doesn’t just happens simultaneously. It is when you are willing to open up and let go. Note that you forgiving another doesn’t mean what they did was the right thing. The goal of forgiveness is for you to free yourself of all hurtfulness so you can enjoy your life to the fullest.